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If Airlines Were Based on Operating Systems...
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UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the
airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by
piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be
building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the aeroplane until it glides, then they jump on and
let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump
on again, and so on.
OS/400 Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents
look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you
are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut
up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth takeoff. After about 10 minutes in
the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,
and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Air Linux
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start
their own airline. They build the planes and ticket counters, and pave the
runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench, and a copy of the
seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable,
the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight
meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the
great trip, but all they can say is: "You had to do what with the seat?"
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