| AOL | Always off line |
| ISDN | It Still Does Nothing |
| APPLE | Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity |
| SCSI | System Can't See It |
| DOS | Defective Operating System |
| BASIC | Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control |
| IBM | I Blame Microsoft |
| DEC | Do Expect Cuts |
| CD-ROM | Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly |
| OS/2 | Obsolete Soon, Too. |
| WWW | World Wide Wait |
| MACINTOSH | Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs |
| PENTIUM | Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math |
| COBOL | Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language |
| AMIGA | A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction |
| LISP | Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis |
| MIPS | Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed |
| WINDOWS | Will Install Needless Data On Whole System |
| MICROSOFT | Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers |
